WTF is Diet Mentality??
Diet mentality is the binding between diet culture and our eating, exercise and self care behaviors. It’s how we absorb and internalize the messages, beliefs and values of diet culture within ourselves and how we incorporate them into our own thoughts and beliefs around food, eating, exercise, weight, and our body, as well as others’ bodies. It expresses itself as the voice in our heads that dictates our actions and makes us question our choices. It does not take into account our own bodies’ natural and biological intuition, such as hunger and fullness cues, cravings, food preferences, our physical and emotional sensations.
You may not formally be on a diet or even think you are, but diet culture is heavily present in our society. Most people, if not all, will likely have some varying degree of diet mentality.
What might diet mentality look like?
- I eliminate or avoid certain food groups or specific foods that are high in calories, fat or carbs.
- I have rules that I follow such as how much I’m allowed to eat, when I’m allowed to eat and what types of “healthy” or “whole” or “acceptable” foods I’m allowed to eat.
- I feel guilty, disappointed or angry when I eat certain “forbidden” foods that are not on my plan or is something that is deemed “unhealthy”.
- If I crave a certain food, I don’t allow myself to eat it. Instead I eat rice cakes, an apple, kale salad, a handful of almonds…. But I’m still craving the food and then I end up breaking down and eat a lot of it and then maybe more to the point of feeling too full. Resulting in feelings of guilt and lack of willpower
- I count calories or macros religiously in a journal or app.
- If I feel hungry, I ignore it and don’t allow myself to eat because it’s not time to eat.
- I categorize food as “good” or bad” and I only feel good when I eat “healthy” foods and I feel I’m being “bad” if I eat “unhealthy” foods.
- I have a “cheat” day where I allow myself to eat whatever I want but I have to be “good” the other days.
- I categorize a day of eating as good or bad.
- I feel good about myself when someone tells me my lunch looks “healthy.”
- I feel being in a smaller body will cure my disliking of my body.
- I believe if I lose weight, I will achieve happiness, acceptance, health, confidence, love or success.
- I view progress as losing weight, and I feel I have control and willpower if I lose weight but feel like a failure if I gain weight.
- I believe my weight is the indicator of my health.
- I am constantly comparing my body to others and believe it needs to be “fixed” of it’s flaws.
- I am scared to gain weight.
- I compare my body and how I eat to friends or strangers and make judgements on myself or them.
- I wonder or believe if I eat or workout the same way someone else does, I will achieve the same great body.
- I avoid or manipulate social situations because I don’t trust myself around the food available or I don’t believe there will be food that fits into my plan.
- I save up calories for a social event.
- When I see the weight on the scale and am not happy about it, I feel defeated and like a failure and immediately plan on how to get “back on track.”
- I do something such as exercising or “detoxing” to make up for what I’ve eaten or so I can eat.
- I feel guilty missing a designated exercise day.
- I believe a smaller body is more worthy than a larger body or I am more worthy at a certain weight.
- I tell myself I’m starting over tomorrow after allowing myself to eat all the things I don’t plan on eating in the future.
This is not by any means a definitive list of what diet mentality can look like. If you recognize a lot of these as your truth, just know it’s completely normal and do not judge. We were not born with these thoughts and beliefs. They have been accumulated over years and they become stronger and more complex as a result of our existence in a culture where these ideas and messages are rampant, praised and all up in our faces whether we choose to have them there or not.
The diet mentality voice is very self-critical and judgmental. As much as we like to believe we are not treating ourselves in a negative way, diet mentality can seep so deep into us that we might not even realize it’s there. It’s the voice that tells you there’s something wrong with you, you lack willpower, you’re a failure, you shouldn’t do that, you’re not good enough, you need to do better or you’re being bad. Instead of judging and criticizing, begin to practice self-compassion with food, your body and self-care. Be gentle and kind to yourself and your body just as you would with someone you love and care about.
So then what does Non-diet Mentality look like?
- Am I hungry? I can assess and recognize hunger and fullness cues.
- I give myself permission to eat regardless of what time of day it is or when I ate my last meal.
- Do I want to eat this food?
- Will this food satisfy and sustain me?
- Will I feel deprived if I don’t eat it?
- Does this taste good?
- Will I enjoy it?
- I deserve to enjoy eating without guilt.
- My mood or self-worth does not change based on what I eat.
- I have increased trust with myself, my body and food.
- I do not feel guilty if I miss a workout.
- If my body is tired or is not feeling well, I allow myself to miss a day of exercise.
- I primarily focus on how exercise and moving my body makes my body feel good and energized; it helps me to relieve stress and helps with my mental health; it helps me sleep better; it makes me feel strong; it helps me move my body more easily.
- I know food can bring pleasure and nourishment.
- I know weight does not equal worth.
- My weight is not an indicator of my progress and it is not my primary goal but rather my behaviors are the indicators of my progress.
- I’m compassionate towards myself, my body and my selfcare.
- I take care of my body because I respect my body.
- I know no food is off limits.
- And SO much more!
Ready to Un-diet?
Try to recognize and acknowledge diet mentality beliefs and thoughts when they show up in your life. There may be times when these thoughts may or may not be completely obvious because they can hide in our subconscious. Slow down and bring a little awareness to these thoughts. Notice what brings them up and pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Ask yourself why you feel this way? Where did the feeling or thought come from? Would you have the same thought or say the same thing to someone you love? Instead of judging, criticizing or acting on your thoughts or questioning a choice, can you reframe it into a non-diet thought?
I know a lot of this is easier said than done. These changes do not happen overnight, and they do not take the form of a “quick fix” like we’re accustomed to hearing about in the dieting world. There’s a lot of diet culture mental programming to undo, and it’s an ongoing process of filtering through the tricky nature of diet culture BS. It will take time. The more you can see diet culture for what it is, the more you can start to reframe your brain and actively push back. The process of rejecting diet mentality could range anywhere from being an easy straightforward process to an arduous lifelong one. Either way it is a very crucial step in leaving a life of obsession, restriction, frustration, defeat, guilt, and fear where external forces have the control.
Get mad when you notice the lies of diet culture in your everyday life, keep reminding yourself of the damages of dieting, and continue to be curious about what you believe about food, weight, bodies and health. Even the subtlest change in mindset can impact how you feel about yourself.
When you start practicing self-compassion and you begin to reframe your brain into a non-diet state of mind, you move away from a life where the external world has control over how your mind dictates your actions. And you move to a life where you have your own internal set of tools and you can discover a peaceful, satisfying, and healthy relationship with food and your body.
